Normally if I go to the cinema during the week, the film I choose would form the centrepiece of my weekly ramblings. Not this week! Having been conned by a run of super-positive reviews, a 7.7 rating on IMDb, and my general fondness for the horror genre, I went to see "Green Room" which was flaunted as art-house gore. What a crock and what a incredibly awful film!
I really don't want to waste too much time on this over-hyped flick, but will just say that the whole premise of a rock-punk band being held captive by a bunch of neo-Nazis led by Patrick Stewart was marred by an illogical plot, terrible dialogue, and a cast of interchangeable actors that one didn't give two hoots about. Leads Anton Yelchin and Imogen Poots were super-bland and I bet Stewart would love to delete this movie from his filmography. The only bit I liked was when one of the wounded killer-dogs (yes, people were ripped to pieces by dogs) traipsed off to find his dead master to rest his weary head. Ahhh....
Now you may think that a film titled "Der Bunker" would also be about neo-Nazis or at least some kind of war movie, but no. This German movie by first-time feature director Nikias Chryssos was more of a horror flick than the Stewart fiasco -- without any gore let it be said, but full of quirky action. For lovers of the truly off-beat, amongst whom I would number myself, this film is something very different indeed. There are only four characters; Pit Bukowski, credited merely as 'The Student' ploughs through a snowy and barren landscape to reach the underground bunker-like residence of 'The Father' and 'The Mother', who have advertised a delightful room to rent, where he hopes to continue his unspecified research in pleasant peace and calm. He is shown into a dimly-lit, low-ceilinged, sparsely furnished space with no windows ('if the light can't get in, neither can it get out' says Father).
At dinner that night Father keeps a record of each dumpling consumed and each serviette used to charge the impoverished student accordingly. He suggests that Bukowski might work off his debt by helping with the chores and in particular taking over the home-schooling of their son Klaus, who they feel is remarkably stupid and unable to learn the important facts (like all the capitals of every country) that will one day allow him to become President (weirdly of the United States!). I guess Klaus is meant to be a teenager, but he's a great lump dressed like a very young boy a la Little Lord Fauntleroy, and he is played by Daniel Fripan, a 5'3" actor who is 31 years old.
The weirdness doesn't end there. When Klaus is a good boy he is rewarded by being able to feed at his mother's bare breast and merrily slurps away. The family's idea of fun is the occasional 'joke evening' where Mother and Klaus cuddle on the sofa while Father reads out the corniest of old chestnuts. Mother also seems to be in some sort of spiritual connection with a former lodger, with whom she communicates through a cupboard and who manifests himself as a growing, throbbing gash on her leg. Klaus eventually memorises all the capitals after suggesting that the capital of France is Mama-chusetts, but only after the Student has thrashed and bloodied his hands. He also teaches Klaus how to 'play', the concept of which is completely foreign to the lunkhead, and they gallivant about in their classroom playing catch and horsey. After a disastrous birthday celebration, Klaus wants to leave home much to Mother and Father's dismay...but the student is fated to remain in the bunker to carry on his domestic duties.
I've only touched on the inherent strangeness of this unusual film, which becomes even more outlandish as it progresses. I'd recommend your seeking it out, but I suspect that it will never feature amongst Amazon's best-sellers or be readily available to view, unlike the miserable "Green Room".
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